Faith, Fatigue, and the Future: A Doctor’s Never Ending Journey...

My Personal Journey & Lessons Transitioning into a completely different field is never easy—and in my previous blog, I shared how I unexpectedly stepped into a job far from what I had originally trained for. If you haven’t read it yet, please check it out for the full background  https://faithfatigueandthefuture.blogspot.com/2025/11/starting-over-in-pediatrics-learning-to.html Adjusting to a New Job and a New Environment The first one or two weeks were difficult. Everything felt new, different, and sometimes overwhelming. But slowly, things began to settle. I made new friends, my colleagues were supportive, and the overall work environment was friendly. I even started enjoying the work. I was working evening shifts, which came with both benefits and drawbacks. Benefit : waking up comfortably in the morning, no rush. Drawback : the entire day practically disappeared. I used to leave home around 2 PM and return at 10:30 PM—exhausted. After that, I had no energy left for studying ...

Sometimes life places us exactly where we never thought we would be.  As a doctor, you imagine your journey going in a straight line— “I’ll get a surgical job, I’ll train there, I’ll grow there.”  But reality often surprises us. I recently joined a renowned institute as a Paediatric Medical Officer , not because it was my dream field, but because something is better than nothing. In medicine, staying stagnant feels heavier than taking an unexpected step forward. I didn’t plan for this path. Yet here I am—stepping into paeds general and paeds hem-oncology , treating tiny patients and navigating a new system with anxiety, hope, and gratitude all mixed together. And that is where this journey begins. Feeling Fear and Gratitude at the Same Time On one side, there is fear . On the other, there is hope . I have some past experience in paediatrics—six months—and that gives me confidence that I’ll eventually settle. The environment is surprisingly warm,  the staff, the system, ev...

My Struggle With Residency, MOSHIP, and the Fear of Falling Behind I opted for FCPS Part 1 in surgery but alot of students who have given MD MS PLAB USMLE exams and not securing a training position anywhere, can relate to my story.   Clearing FCPS Part 1 in Surgery in my first attempt—after just 1.5 months of preparation—should have felt like the biggest breakthrough of my career. And it did…  for a moment. But what came after was something NO ONE warns you about: the silent gap, the waiting, the rejections, and the fear of falling behind while everyone else seems to be moving forward. I applied to all the major teaching hospitals and well-known institutes in my city. I walked into every induction test with hope, confidence, and my freshly passed FCPS exam. But the result was the same everywhere— I didn’t get selected for residency training in surgery . And that’s when the panic began. Sometimes the gap isn’t empty; it’s where growth quietly happens. -The Confusion That Foll...

Choosing a Career After House Job: The Confusion, The Pressure and the Courage to Choose the Correct Path When I was doing my house job / internship, I often found myself standing in the operation theatre thinking: “Is surgery really for me?” On some days, the adrenaline excited me — the rush, the focus, the responsibility. On other days, the environment drained me — the hierarchy, the pressure, the unpredictability. I kept telling myself: - Surgery is a male-dominant field… - Sources matter more than skills… - Branches are limited for women… - Training in government setups is hard to get and you have to be resourceful to get it … These thoughts weren’t just passing doubts — they were real fears, the kind many young doctors feel but rarely say out loud. The Reality We Don’t Talk About Choosing a career in medicine, especially in Pakistan , isn’t as straightforward as passing MBBS and completing your house job.  These feelings synchronize with almost every student who walks ou...